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My Heart and Crotch Aches

Welcome Earth Beings!
On of our beings has morphed into an Earthling and we must grab him by the Xzork and take him back!

Me:  Don't believe him!  I'm really Rockin' Randy!!!

Alien:  You will come with me or I will put my pinchers where it really hurts!

Me:  I know my Cosmic Rock isn't for everyone but that's no reason to Plasma Warp me back to Zlorp!!!

Alien:  This is the 16th planet you have escaped to, hoping someone would listen to your music!
To be continued ...